Whether you’re newly married and new to your mother-in-law or are trying to improve the less-than-perfect relationship the two of you have maintained for many years, the solutions below can help you change the situation.
Shows harmony and closeness
When in front of your mother-in-law, make sure your words and behavior are always polite and respectful. Really get to know your mother-in-law and then see if you can find anything in common with her.
For example, if you both enjoy gardening and home decoration, share those interests and work together. Or if you both like music, talk together and comment on your favorite songs.
If you live far apart and only see each other on holidays, the relationship may be a bit strained because you don’t spend much time together. Seeing each other more can help the relationship.
In a study of closeness between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law, researchers found that there are several factors that determine closeness. Specifically, a close relationship can develop if the mother-in-law values ​​her daughter-in-law and both have similar interests.
Closeness also increases when mothers-in-law spend more time with their daughters-in-law. If the mother-in-law is close to her son and her son is satisfied with the relationship between the mother and his wife, it also creates a close relationship between the two women.
If your mother-in-law is initially cold or constantly criticizes your daughter-in-law, assume that it’s the best she can do and try to understand her point of view.
She can always be the woman who takes first place in her son’s life. And now you have taken her place. When the reality is that no one likes to feel replaced, excluded or abandoned.
Understand psychology
Common complaints from daughters-in-law often center on criticism and unsolicited advice from their mother-in-law.
But remember that her suggestions may come from good intentions. More than anyone else, the mother-in-law knows her son well. If she criticizes your cooking, humbly accept it, you can even ask her to teach her son’s favorite recipes.
Show gratitude because it will make both of you feel more comfortable and happier.
Even if your mother-in-law uses harsh words, the truth is that both you and she want your husband to be happy, successful, and feel loved.
How to resolve conflicts when there are children at home
It is normal for the mother-in-law to help take care of the newborn. A study looking at mother-in-law child care and postpartum depression found that three months after giving birth, when the mother-in-law provided more or less care for the child, daughters-in-law were more likely to lower rates of depression.
Disagreements will naturally arise in any relationship, but your mother-in-law may have a different conflict resolution style than you. Perhaps she just wanted to avoid conflict at all costs. While you want to face the problem head-on and talk about it until it is resolved.
Once you see that there is a difference in style, you can continue to maintain a good relationship with your mother-in-law.
Overcome mistakes in conflict resolution, such as the habit of blaming, and try to negotiate with her to find a common solution.
Applying this technique can help you view conflicts with your mother-in-law in a much more positive light.
Create healthy connections
Empathy is a powerful tool that will enhance your relationship with your mother-in-law. Really try to understand her point of view. This leads to better communication and a more fulfilling relationship.
Listen attentively and focus on bonding with your mother-in-law. Sharing personal stories can bridge the gap and help both people create common ground.
Maybe you will never see your mother-in-law as your second mother and she may never see you as her own daughter, but that’s okay. You can still build a positive relationship with her.
Acknowledging and appreciating her efforts can lead to more positive interactions. Additionally, practicing mindfulness will help you manage your reactions and emotions in challenging situations.
Mindfulness habits allow you to reflect, breathe, and respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
A good relationship with your mother-in-law will certainly benefit your marriage and contribute to a more peaceful family life.